“There are no wrong turnings. Only paths we had not known we were meant to walk.” This could sum up any hash. And what a wonderful hash it was this morning. We joined many of our
We filled the car park and moved over to the village hall where Lemony and Hotlips helped Zorro insert his car key into his back passage. They were so gentle he didn’t even notice. After the briefing we set off to the right before turning off north along the first footpath. Up hill at the start of the trail. How cruel can you get!! A sharp left took us on to
We went across Nettlebed Common and out onto the path East. Somewhere along here was a wonderful Hash View, or would have been if the mist hadn’t rolled in and hidden it. Onwards - “You need to get to Crockers End, Insp Barnaby, there’s been a murrrrder”. Sorry, couldn’t resist that. Crocker’s End just sounds like the scene of the crime – or is that just me? We turned South again and back into the woods before crossing the road again and heading into Lower Common Wood. Bat Girl used hands, knees and even her chin but made it to the top. It was about here that Lemony passed Ringer for the umpteenth time. “You must be magic, you are walking but always seem to be in front of me!” Or was it the wine gums? We continued on towards Highmore Trench. The short cut went over the hill, the long cut went round the edge. So everyone met up at Merrimoles. Very posh house but no time to take a dip in their swimming pool. We went South to
At a point on the trail – not to be divulged – a hasher – whose identity is being kept secret to protect him – wantonly destroyed a child’s snowman while the little one’s mum watched out of the window. Will she track him down? I think I would!!
Back at the car park Hutch, A Cruel Joke and Big Stiffy awaited Pyro with Whisper on a lead. They had taken a wrong turn and the dog had followed them so they had taken control. How did they have the dog’s lead? Oh … they were using Hutch’s belt. Thank goodness he had good elastic. Just at this moment Ringer hove into view still carrying the Hash Sponge Bag. “You’re not mincing” called Hutch as Ringer started to sprint to avoid being overtaken by Hell Boy at the finish line. Silly, no-one races on a Hash, do they?
Heading towards the village hall the sight of Slapper and his 2 comrades stripping off right by the entry door brought to mind the 3 wise monkeys, or maybe The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Slapper insisted there was a screen to protect us from the sight. How Rood (get it?)
Once inside, the Down Downs started. Wimpey and Lemony went first for Didcot. Wimpey for pushing his wife over and Lemony for insulting Ringer during the trail. She thought she had said he was magical for always being in front of her! Then Vanessa and Miranda were called up as Hash Virgins. Gatecrasher had insulted Motorcross by suggesting that he had short-cutted – or was that planned so that he got a free beer? Eric was called up, but we can't remember why, but chose lemonade as she was driving. Would you be allowed do a Down Down with coffee? Luke-warm, of course.
The sponge bag went to Sheila, sorry, Accrual, as it was Australia Day last Monday.
Brilliant trail and lovely to run with Berkshire again.
Hares: Pyro and Spot
Hounds: Rubber Sole, Hutch, Zorro, Big Stiffy, Hotlips, Gatecrasher, A Cruel Joke, Swallow, Lemony, Wimpey, Rubber Sole’s Buddy, Pressganger, Eric, Twitcher, Bat Girl, Call Girl, Hell Boy, Ringer, Vanessa and Miranda
Date: 29 January 2017
Distance: 5.5-6 miles