Charlie’s strategic dump and the best after hash food ever.  Or - What you missed if you weren’t there!!

It was great to see Hotlips and Big Stiffy after a long absence in warmer climes and Carlos back for a second week.  There were a few regulars missing though.  CS arrived practically on time in a rather bright white technical T and we were off.  The hares had laid flour on 5 of the 6 routes.  Northern Sole chose the 6^th and set off up the hill to the left. Quite a way up a local told him “There’s loads of flour further up” so he kept going.  The trouble was that the trail actually went the other way and finally looped back to near where he was.  No-one had backed him up so RSB had to try to find him and they finally caught up with us at the next check, 100s of yards in the opposite direction.  It was here that GB joined us and on the way here that Hutch, running like a honed athlete was nearly taken out as St Bernard opened his car door.  He was just a blurr (or does St Bernard need glasses?)  The trail went straight on and turned right through the edge of the farm.  The next junction caused some consternation as the hares had tucked the check so far to the edge to avoid it getting wiped out that it was practically impossible to see.  GB had to be called back because he hadn’t heard the Didcot/Wycombe rules of 6 on a check and numbers to send lead runners back.  He did know what fish hooks are… luckily.  At the next junction it was a right and a left to head along the byway.   Epic had been handing Charlie to another person at each check to avoid taking him on the falses but kept choosing the right way.  This was about to change as he set off down the lane and past the footpath on the right.  The front runners were a little way on and heading for the fish hook when Charlie decided to take a dump.  It was bagged up and nicely warm just in time to turn back and take the correct path across the crop field before approaching the A34.  The re-group gathered everyone together before crossing over.  Just at that moment all the traffic in Oxfordshire decided to head for West Ilsley (well, most of it – more of that later).   One of them must have dropped a red cabbage on the road but it was too heavy to carry back.  Although if we’d seen tonight’s programme that said how good red cabbage is for warding off dementia I’m sure we would have carried for the rest of the run.

The trail turned off right and then wiggled back for a long leg up towards the Ridgeway.  By now GB had been re-named for a day as Duracell as he had not stopped running all evening.  The pack turned right along the bridleway and right again back towards the main road but he continued up to the Ridgeway.  This was not straight forward though as a farmer was sitting in his truck and called out “Stop there, not one step further, this is private land”!

When we got to the new estate some of the pack set off to weave their way through the new roads and out onto the grass by the road while the rest carried straight on to the foot bridge.  Noddy decided to cause an accident on the A34 by flashing at the lorry drivers and only Northern Sole obeyed the number 4 at the far side of the brige and run back up to the top. 

Everyone met up at the pub where they had reserved tables for us.  RSB and CS set off into the body of the pub together and rumours were about to start when they smelt the food coming out and returned at speed.  There was more food than we could eat (well, nearly) - sausages, sandwiches, chips, spring roles and crisps – and a great welcome.  CS was so impressed he booked for Sunday lunch.    Wimpey needed another pint to wash it down and asked Hutch for his recommendation.  A pint of fallopian, or so he heard, “you may have to clean the tubes” was CS’ witty remark.

Then came Hash Words.  Hotlips produced a piece of paper with notes regarding the May Day run as Big Stiffy doesn’t do social media.  Details will be put on the website, I am sure.  The Yellow Shirt could have gone to Epic for mithering on the phone and bragging about “doing London” or CS for flatulence or comments about parking in cul-de-sacs.  But the obvious winner was Noddy for causing a scene over the A34 and needing to be more covered up in future to protect other drivers.

There were a few contenders for the Supergirl pants too. Gatecrasher had hurried past Hutch as he didn’t want to see the pants draped round his arse any longer than necessary and CS had arried on time!  But the winner was St Bernard for nearly braining Hutch with his car door.

On On 

Hares:  Wimpey and Lemony Snickett

Hounds:  Call Girl, Bat Girl, Gatecrasher, Epic Fail and Charlie, Professional Peach, RSB, Northern Sole, Nora Batty, Rear Admiral, St Bernard, Noddy, Hutch, Rubber Sole, Carlos, CS, Hotlips, Big Stiffy and GB (or Andrew) from Weybridge Hash

Date: 12 April 2016

Distance: 4.5 miles