Who was tasked with booking the photographer from Hello! Magazine?  Oh well, we had our very own Hash Flash (plus every mobile phone in Didcot) to capture the glorious array of designer clothing magically appearing from Noddy’s house for every hasher who arrived inappropriately dressed.  Call Girl hadn’t quite understood the rules, turning up looking very cute as Minnie Mouse.  The rest of us had gone for a look of the grotesque.  And what can I say about Gnome Alone?  Lovely dress with the red and black bra on display, all topped by blue curly hair. - that Italian sun and snow had certainly made it grow.

Poor Hutch couldn’t fit into the red and white gingham bra he had been hankering after wearing since The Fox and Hounds run so had to pass it to Wimpey after all.  Scumptious helped buckle him up but he seemed to feel remarkably natural.  It was great to see La Crease looking so well – only a few more weeks before their baby is born.  Should we start voting on a hash name now?

For some reason only known to the two of them (unless it was to numb the shame of not wearing a dress), Noddy served Zorro a Whiskey as Gnome called us to order while the strong wind sent many a skirt flying high and Noddy gave the briefing. At this point who should appear, late to the party, but Pamela Anderson!!! Oh no, it was CS Gas in a blond wig.  What a disappointment.  Gatecrasher was playing it cool and refusing every red item offered but popped back to his car as we set off and tucked a flowery number into his waistband.

Noddy volunteered Scrumptious as front running hare (I can’t run fast enough to keep up with that lot).  More likely she didn’t want to be at the front when we went past all the major centres of Didcot.  The first stop was the sports field where there were a number of football matches going on. 

From there we made our way to the roundabout by Aldi where the front runners had to wait at the re-group for some time for the walkers.  What planning.  We elicited a few waves and beeps on car horns but luckily caused no accidents.  On towards Sainsbury’s before crossing at the lights, posing by the Aldi sign, and heading down under the railway.  Skidmark’s skirt was swirling round his ankles most elegantly – only missing a loop round his wrist to look the belle of the ball.  Uranus was also looking very comfortable in a shorter outfit which moved well as he swung his hips.  The perfect dress to wear next time he goes out dancing.

We wound our way round the estate, and Wimpey managed to terrify a local young lady who turned around to find him bearing down on her along the footpath, before we heading back to ‘old’ Didcot under the Cow Lane bridge and up Station Road.  Why wasn’t there a beer stop at Hotlips and Stiffy’s abode? 

Reaching the Orchard Centre outside the Cornerstone Theatre there was a re-group and a security guard! To avoid being arrested for dis-orderly behaviour earlier on the trail Wimpey and FBJ disguised themselves by snuggling up to CS and hiding under his flowing locks.   But the guard was somewhat distracted by the bevy of beauties surrounding him - “I always go for the prettiest lady” he said whilst enveloping Skidmark in his fluorescent jacket!  But as we set off towards the main road he whispered something in Call Girl’s ear.  Shame she had nowhere to make a note of his number.

Back at Noddy’s house we started with a drink or, in Call Girl’s case, started with a shower of pink champagne – all over the kitchen, and Hutch and Wimpey who were getting changed in there.  There was a wonderful spread - curry, lasagne, chilli, sausage and beans, veg, rice, couscous etc etc followed by white and milk chocolate fountains!  Thanks Noddy.  You’ve got the job for ever.

A group sat round the fire pit but wished they hadn’t when Wimpey stood up and started commenting on how far up his bum his sweaty pants had gone!  We were still eating (quite a surprise after that little revelation) when it came to Hash Words.  Noddy passed the paddle to Gnome Alone to hold whilst she raised her dress to remove the Supergirl knickers.  She then awarded both items.  The knickers went to Call Girl for wasting so much alcohol.  The table tennis bat went to Gatecrasher for delaying wearing his dress and window shopping for a handbag en route but she had to react quickly to stop him dipping his paddle in the chocolate!

Rubber Sole’s Buddy announced that the Hash Cash would go to the Abingdon Bridge charity.

On On 

Hares:  Noddy and Scrumptious

Hounds:  Lemony Snicket, Wimpey, Hutch, Rubber Sole, Big Stiffy, Hotlips, Gatecrasher, Pressganger, Dingaling, Ringer, Call Girl, FBJ, La Crease, Comet, Uranus, Northern Sole, Rubber Sole’s Buddy, Skidmark, Cheap Date, Zorro, CS Gas, Gnome Alone, Piscine Dow, Led Zeppelin and Noddy’s friends Nicola and Vicky

Date: 20 February 2016

Distance: c5 miles