Where was everyone?  A small group gathered in the car park, made even smaller because Noddy and Scrumptious couldn’t join the trial as their car had broken down en route and they were waiting for the RAC.  Lemony and Wimpey arrived a little late so the Paddle of Rebuke was used on anyone who was in front of Lemony, either on the road to the pub (everyone) or on the trail (everyone on more than one occasion) or in the pub to get to the bar first (not necessary as everyone else was too frightened to get in front of her).

The rain stopped and we were off.  The mud was very much in evidence but not quite as bad as last week.  The trail was brilliant.  Long stretches though and a couple of these up hills.  But the group kept together.  This was partly due to the Wycombe rule used which means that numbers are placed on the trail (eg 3) and that means that the first 3 to reach that point have to go to the back.  Stiffy, I said the first 3 to that point have to go to the back!!!

Simply put, the trail went out and back.  We set off and ran up Hollandridge Lane, through Queens Wood and past Hollandridge Farm before crossing the grand divide and heading back north through Turville Park.  Here we came to the Hash View and, coincidentally where Hotlips decided she was getting warm and exposed the Supergirl Pants!  “Not that sort of view, Hotlips!” was the cry from the Hare, concerned about the image of the hash, of course.

There were a number of forays into muddy fields and over slippery stiles.  A lot of walking and a lot of splashing through puddles.  The blue sky appeared and the sun came out and we few, we happy few, got back to the pub in time for copious amounts of chips and long discussions about which red dress suited which hash house harrier.  There was nearly a fight between Hutch and Wimpey who both wanted the same red and white checked bra!  To explain, the Red Dress Run is from Noddy’s house on 21 February (run followed by hot food to keep the red in the cheeks after running through Didcot in rather dubious red clothing) and Noddy has provided a bag full of attire not only for her but for anyone who is caught short.  Wimpey had to get Twitcher to unfasten the bra once Hutch pointed out that, although it was still in the bag, it was already allocated to him and Hotlips was going to extend the strap to make it fit.  No-one could persuade Northern Sole to take anything.  He received so many compliments last year on his ball gown and is sticking with that.

Someone had asked Twitcher if he was with the runners and he said “No, I’m with the Didcot Cross-dressers!” or so he told us.  Somewhat believable as Twitcher and Wimpey looked like Tweedledum and Tweedledee sitting in the corner eating chips and discussing items of female apparel.  “This skirt isn’t as good for running as it is heavy material.”  “You could put a suggestive slit in the side?”

Hotlips, the substitute RA, had left early so had passed the duties on to Hutch.  The Yellow Shirt went to Pressganger.  She had been following Hutch (the present incumbent) and been heard to boast about her good looks or at least pass a comment on a lovely ring!

Hotlips had been wearing the Supergirl Pants this week and wanted them passed to Big Stiffy for commenting that she looked like the rather large black lady who walks through Oxford in only a crop top and a red, lacy thong!  

Then it came to the paddle.  Lemony had had a reason to give it to Professional Peach but couldn’t remember what it was.  So she wanted it to go to Big Stiffy because he got to the Wycombe marking first and ignored it, sending his wife back in his stead, and second for not wearing a helmet the day before when he cycled to Oxford and passed Lemony’s house.

Thanks again to the hares, a great trail and a lovely run out on a Sunday morning.

On On 

Hares:  Northern Sole and Rubber Sole’s Buddy

Hounds:  Lemony Snicket, Wimpey, Hutch, Big Stiffy, Hotlips, Gatecrasher, Twitcher, Professional Peach, Eric, Pressganger and Rosie.  Noddy and Scrumptious were there too but had broken down on the way to the meet (car not either of them) so couldn’t run

Date: 31 January 2016

Distance: 4.8 miles