We were missing a few of the locals this week.  Rubber Sole had chosen Chelsea over Sutton Courtenay – and we had planned the route to include such lovely flora today.  Northern Soul was meeting ‘an old colleague’ in Oxford and the others just couldn’t be bothered to turn up. 

The hares were not too offended.  Billy Whizz is back in our midst.  University completely finished!  Well done, Billy. And the turn out was pretty good anyway.  Well it was once Big Stiffy and Hotlips arrived – late – having had to go back for someone’s shoes.  This was the third time so the atmosphere in the car was a little frosty we understand.  Oh well, true love never ran smoothly.  But this delay had given FBJ time for a beer – and a moan about La Crease for whom he had given up football to attend the hash, but she had changed her mind and stayed in!  That would be worth a Down Down but we do want the shirts back every few months.  It also gave us time to admire the rather vivid trainers that Dancing Queen was sporting. Slightly less bright than the orange model Mismatch has bought, but still rather trendy.

Off we set. Some of the markings were rather hidden to avoid early detection on entering the village and some were just hard to spot as the hares had used wholemeal (the cheapest in Waitrose because they forgot to buy it in Tesco last week).  There were a couple of occasions where one of the hares had lost count of blobs too!  But more importantly lots of places where Big Stiffy said “It always goes this way” and was wrong!  Zorro was front running as if on steroids and FBJ’s bugle drove Ben wild with excitement!

The trail led past The Fish and down towards the churchyard and the fishing lake (Pressganger did point out that it is not a public right of way, but the hares do back on to it), round the shore and out at the far end onto the Millennium Common.  Rubber Sole’s Buddy told us that she had been instrumental in getting the boulders added to the common.  Well done to her.  Anyway, we meandered round the common for a while in a rather large, some might say pointless, loop.  But isn’t that the definition of a hash? Then we headed off along the edge of the new cemetery – can a village have two Dead Centres? - and through a field of rape.  The crop got higher and higher and rather difficult to push through.  Looking back at the walkers we could hardly see B’Cider and RSB!  St Bernard complained that it nearly came up to his waist. Wiggles round the recreation ground brought us out onto the main road which we crossed quickly to head down Mill Lane.  An amazing house has been built down here, by the way.  Well worth a look and drool.  Instead of the usual route across the field, we continued on.  At the 2nd junction we turned right to the Drayton Road.  The hares had sacrificed their legs earlier in the day and trampled a path through the nettles on this section.  We soon cut back on the bridle way, took a left turn by the cattle feeding trough and turned left at the gate before crossing over Ginge Brook by the little bridge.  Back to the main road, straight across past two more very splendid new structures – is there a back garden not built on in the village - left round the Abbey and back to the pub.

The hostelry had a nice garden and the chips were brilliant.

Hash words nearly didn’t get off the ground.  Well they did get off the ground because CS stood on a bench, but it was so rickety we expected him to fall at any second.  Ringer then wobbled on the same bench and looked most disconcerted when it nearly collapsed!?!

There was only one Down Down vest, which had been worn by Rear Admiral.  There were lots of contestants – Big Stiffy and Hotlips turning up late and wanting to leave early; Big Stiffy for wearing Hotlips’ jacket; Henry V for choosing an all male version of Swan Lake over hashing; A Cruel Joke for taking the green shorts home in a tissue the previous week because Henry V couldn’t bear to touch them – well she knew where they had been, but they had to go to Dancing Queen for the new trainers.

Then there was a naming.  Ben is well known for his energy and slight lack of direction.  Poor Billy Whizz had passed control back to Pressganger as he was too unfit to keep up with him.  So he has been christened Qualcast because he mows so many people down.

Hares:  Wimpey and Lemony Snicket

Hounds: Rubber Sole’s Buddy, B’Cider, Big Stiffy, Hotlips, Ringer, Dingaling, Eric, Pressganger and Ben, Billy Whizz, Gatecrasher, Dancing Queen, CS, Rear Admiral, Gnome Alone, Chicken Head, FBJ, Zorro, a Cruel Joke, Hutch, St Bernard and Epic Fail with Snoop Doggy Dog and Charlie

Date: 20 May 2014

Distance: 4.2 Miles