The trial was due to be laid by Epic Fail but he was unavoidably detained in a foreign country so asked for substitute.  It was a shame as he had banged on so much the week before about how Epic his trail was going to be.

He did send the map over to Lemony but the plans were somewhat unintelligible so Wimpey made up his own trail. (So you can re-schedule yours for some time in the summer, Epic).  Pressganger was back, with a lump the size of a goose egg on her hip from the tumble a couple of weeks earlier.

The briefing consisted of the word MUD.  I think that was all that was needed!  Oh yes, and we were going for the record number of bridges crossed in one hash.

The trial went right from the pub, up to the war memorial where it branched off to the left down a track.  On entering the field we turned right.  The donkey and pony duo that had been in the field during the afternoon were sheltering in the corner.  Obviously saw us coming.  Then came the really wet field.  “Go straight across then go left along the hedge” Lemony kept shouting but some (St Bernard, I mean you) decided to follow the diagonal.  I’m not sure I have seen damp work quite that far up a pair of walking trousers before.  Hutch and Ringer, set off along the side of the tree plantation and called on.  Lemony went through the gate to encourage others.  She was about to suggest Hotlips didn’t run on too fast when Gnome Alone caught up and said that he had never been along this path before.  That was because it led straight to the A420 and Hutch and Ringer found the fish hook in the trees!  Lemony had felt honour-bound to keep within shouting distance of them as she and Wimpey had actually got lost at this point and laid the trail much further on, only placing the fish hook once they were re-tracing their steps.  She didn’t want to risk runners missing the marking and ending up under a car!

Back we went, and down the drive past the big, posh house, over the road into the field and right through a small wood.  Here we found bridges 3 and 4.  Into the next field and out towards the woods.  Now this is where it really started getting muddy.  The running slowed and the runners slipped.  I gather that Northern Soul fell over 3 times (later describing it as an heroic hash).  Rubber Sole and Rubber Sole’s Buddy decided to take the short cut.  Big Stiffy only realised this some time later and was a bit fed up that he had missed it. The rest of us carried on down to the river and over the donkey bridge.  Then along the river bank to Northmoor lock.  Over the lock and right through the field and down another very muddy track.  By this time the fog was beginning to descend.  At the next check the front runners realised that the walkers were approaching from the other direction – “Gorillas in the mist” was the comment!  The walkers had one up on the runners though as their trail had not been muddy.

Further on we ploughed until we reached the edge of the village.  Right up to the junction and then follow the arrow right to the pub.  Well, that was the plan but Northern Soul and Hotlips decided that the arrow wasn’t for them and turned left.  They had no idea where they were.  Luckily Lemony was hot on their heels and called them back.

There were a total of 10 bridges crossed – and this didn’t include all the logs laid in the deeper quagmires.

Big Stiffy had worn the Green Shorts for a 2nd week and they were obviously feeling like a second skin as he almost walked into the pub with them on!  Who told him???

The Down Down shirt went to Ringer for having he most garish new trainers.  He was also dressed like a rainbow.  Red on the shoes, Yellow socks, Pink T shirt, Green (?), Orange waterproof, Purple (lemony’s waterproof) and Blue shorts.

The Green Shorts went to Gnome Alone for his camouflage shorts.

Hares:  Wimpey and Lemony Snickett

Hounds: Rubber Sole’s Buddy, Northern Soul, Rubber Sole, Hutch, Big Stiffy, Hotlips, Ringer, Dingaling, Eric, Pressganger and Ben, Gnome Alone, St Bernard and Gatecrasher

Date: 29 April 2014

Distance: 5 Miles